He Sees You

Lately, I've been asking God to grieve my heart for what grieves His, and to fill me with rejoicing for what He rejoices over. I've been asking Him to let me know what He wants me to pray for, who He wants me to show His love to, and for Him to move me for what moves Him. When I first started praying that prayer, I had no idea how the Lord would answer it in the days and weeks to come. 

Since beginning praying that prayer, I have begun to realize something. When your heart breaks for what breaks God's, you don't just get choked up over stories about homeless people, or feel moved to go help starving children. Yes, of course, those are both HUGE things that God cares about, but there's more to it. God's heart also breaks when we sin. His heart also breaks when His children turn their backs on Him. His heart also breaks when His beloved ones speak poor words about the body He created beautifully, or when His sons and daughters suffer with physical or mental illness, or even hurt themselves or try to take their own life. His heart breaks for those who are lonely, ashamed, or even prideful and rude. Not because He's judging or condemning them (though we will stand before His judgement seat one day, and will have to face everything we did that was sinful and worthy of condemnation apart from Christ's incredible sacrifice for our salvation), but because He deeply loves every soul in existence, and He wants to have an intimate relationship with each and every one of us. It grieves Him immensely when we try to live life apart from Him, or when we believe the lies of the enemy, because He has something so much better for us! He WANTS to give us good gifts, and a future filled with hope. 

I've also realized that when you rejoice over what God rejoices over, you don't just celebrate an answered prayer, or a really great worship service, or the powerful testimony of someone you don't know. You also feel led to surrender your pride and celebrate when someone you don't like gives their life to Jesus, and you rejoice with Heaven and believe the best about them even though you're tempted to exclude them or judge them. You rejoice when your best friend gets engaged to the man of her prayers, even though you've been longing to be in her shoes for YEARS. You rejoice when you see somebody celebrating even just a week clean. You rejoice when somebody else gets the position you worked so hard for, even though it pains you to thank God for that. You rejoice even for something as simple as a new day of life, or something as hard as a lesson a trial has taught you. It doesn't mean it's always easy, but you begin to see that God really does care about even the smallest details of our lives, and that they are worth celebrating. 

All of that being said, as I've been learning how to rejoice and grieve over what God rejoices and grieves over, I've begun to realize that there is a desperate need of hope in our world, and that God is not blind to this need. I've heard countless stories about miscarriages, people struggling with thoughts of worthlessness, people whose spouses or close friends have taken their own lives, young girls believing the lie that they're unlovable or not beautiful, people who have experienced loved ones abandoning them and are left questioning their value, and more. I've noticed so many people feel abandoned by God, and rather hopeless, and my heart breaks over it because I came to the life-changing reality that His heart breaks, too. Deeply. 

 I believe at the root of us all is a desire to be loved and wanted. We want to know that someone cares, and we want to have an unconditional sort of love. The problem is, the only One Who can satisfy that longing in our souls cannot physically be seen by us in this life. Human love doesn't satisfy it, and yet that's the only love we can see, so many of us feel that great desire for something deeper, and yet feel hopeless because we can't find that love apart from Christ. That breaks God's heart, because He WANTS us to find Him. He has never abandoned us, and He so wants us to understand that.  

Yet, even while knowing that in our heads, it can still be hard to truly believe it in our hearts. If we're being honest, how many of us have felt abandoned by God at some point in our lives? How many of us have felt hopeless and unmotivated because of it? How many of us have questioned everything we know to be true, and have asked ourselves if faith was really worth it before?

I know that I have; and I also know that I'm not the only one. In fact, if I'm being completely truthful with you all, I'm still fighting my way out of believing that lie that God has abandoned me. I'm still searching for hope in the every day, and I'm still feeling discouraged when my hope gets crushed. I've walked through trauma over the past two years, and I was ashamed to admit it, since I'm in ministry and known by all for my faith, but it all left me asking myself if God was even real at all. I've felt abandoned, and like He doesn't care anymore, and can no longer be trusted. It's not anything I wish I wrestled with, but it's the painful truth that I know a lot of you can relate to. 

If that's where you find yourself today, I want you to soak this truth deep into your soul: He sees you. 

He sees you, He knows you, He LOVES you, and He's weeping with you. He has never turned His back on you for even a moment, and He is reaching out His hands to you right now, awaiting the day when you will trust Him enough to take hold again. He will never stop speaking to you in every day experiences, longing for the day when you will hear. He will never stop calling your name, waiting for you to run to Him. He wants to hold you, and cry with you until all the tears rust upon your face. He wants to comfort you, counsel you, heal your broken heart, and show you a new life filled with hope. Things won't always be perfect, but when the waves hit again, He wants you to look to Him. Only then will you not be drowned, because only then can your life be turned around! He will choose you over, and over, and over, and over again, and never stop redeeming what has been destroyed so many times. The night doesn't last forever, and there is hope for the morning coming time and time again. 

He wants us all to understand His voice, and to delight in Him. It's our choice, and when we make it rightly, we win! There is always hope for everyone who's afraid. There is always light, and always a better way. 

Sometime in late 2019, when I was right in the middle of the season when I was turning my back on God and believing He had abandoned me, I got invited to a church service by some very close friends. It was on a Wednesday night, and I was free, so I decided to check it out. I'll never forget a moment in worship when they sang this song by Elevation Worship called 'Here Again' that I had never heard before. The tears were POURING down my face, as the chorus: "I'm not enough unless You come; will You meet me here again? 'Cause all I want is all You are; will You meet me here again?" was ringing through the air. The song was my prayer, and one of the first moments when I realized that my root issue causing my dry season in my faith was because I had been believing that God would NOT meet me here again. I was believing that I was forsaken and alone, and that He had left me. To this day, I can't hear or sing that song without being moved to tears by the Holy Spirit, because I remember the pain of feeling abandoned, and how it felt as though Jesus was wrapping me up in His loving arms as the tears streamed down my face. 

He wants to meet us here again. Again, and again, and again, and again. He wants to show us a love that is unlike anything we've ever seen before. He wants us to believe, and to experience true freedom. And He wants us to be His hands and feet to those who need hope like we do. He wants our hearts to break when we hear of those who feel hopeless, and He wants our arms to open wide. He wants us to know that we are seen and cared for. He wants everyone to know that He sees them, and loves them, and is right there with them. 

He wants you to know that He sees you, too. 

Never give up hope, my friend. He's right there with you right now.