Following

This week I've been really pondering the topic of trust.

I've been trying to dig in to discover what it means to trust, and what it should mean to me personally. 

In the process of trying to dig deeper into it all, I decided to google the definition of the word trust:

trust

trəst/

noun

noun: trust

1. 1.

   firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

   
   

   "relations have to be built on trust"

   synonyms:

   confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction, credence; reliance "good relationships are built on trust"

One thing that stands out to me about that definition is the fact that faith is a synonym to it.

A foundation of faith is trust.

I'm honestly not very good at trusting. It's something that I know I need to work on a lot in my life, but it's one of those things that's going to be a lifelong battle for me.

I mentioned in my last post that I have a lot of trouble with being a control freak.

Well, I'm learning this week that a lot of my issues with control can tie to my issues with trust.

To be very open with you all, a lot of my trust issues still apply, actually mainly apply, to my spiritual life.

More than once, I have poured out all of my worries to God in prayer, and when I was done, I felt the words, "trust Me" wash over my spirit.

Of course, in my sinful and controlling brain, I added to those words, "This will all work out the way you want it to."

Well... More than once, it hasn't worked out the way I want it to.

Then I was left confused. 

"God, I trusted You." I've called out through tears, "You told me this was going to work out if I trusted You."

He lets me lament, listening to every word I throw at Him, and when I am finished, He lets the silence loom over just long enough so I can calm down.

He kneels down to my level, and looks me in the eyes. 

"I said to trust Me." He replies, "You wouldn't need to trust if you knew the outcome."

With those wise words, the silence returns, leaving me with nothing but the sound of my thoughts.

The thoughts that have been unending for this entire week.

Trust requires a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Why would you need to have a firm belief that someone or something is going to follow through, if you knew the outcome? 

That wouldn't be trust, that would just be waiting.

Waiting for that outcome, not trusting things will work out no matter the outcome.

And that's something that I am (very slowly) learning.

I know God is reliable, I know what He says is true, I know He's able to do everything, and I know He is stronger than anything. 

And if I start believing what I know is true... Imagine the peace, joy, hope, and life I would find.

I know this week's post is a little bit shorter than some, but I would like to close with part of a story.

When Jesus called the disciples, He never said, "follow Me to..." or, "Follow Me because..." He just said, "Follow Me" 

And they did.

He daily reaches out His hand to us and says, "follow Me." But what do we do? We follow for awhile, and then start asking questions.

"Where are we going?"

"Are we there yet?"

"How much longer?"

"Can we go here?"

Like Peter in the storm, we need to fix our eyes on nothing but Jesus as we follow Him.

He is the leader, we are just trusting that He knows where He's going, and that He really did have our best in mind when He picked the destination.

So, my sister (or brother), what about you? Do you trust Him?

" As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 'Come, follow me,' Jesus said, 'and I will send you out to fish for people.' At once they left their nets and followed him." -Matthew 4:18-20