I recorded much of my thoughts, life events, dreams, and struggles in journals from ages 10 until the present.
As I was reading some stuff again, I found myself having a hard time getting through it.
I read about friendships that faded, feelings that changed, a heart that has shifted, situations I forgot about...
It wasn't as easy as I thought it'd be.
Through it all, I noticed a theme that developed over time.
I believed, at the root of it all, that I was worthless.
I believed I was second choice, nobody could ever love me, everyone in my life was only there until they found someone better, and the world would be no different without me in it.
The reason reading my old journals was so hard for me is because I watched as that theme slowly took its root through the little things I went through.
What makes it even harder is that I realized that I still believe that somewhat.
But though it hurt to revisit, I'm thankful that I did.
Because I was honestly blind to that lie until I did.
Now that I've dug deep enough to find it, I can begin the process of healing.
And that's exactly what I want to write about today.
No matter how old you are, we all have something in our past that we'd rather forget.
Whether it be a moment, a day, a year, or what seems like another lifetime... Pain happens, guilt happens, shame happens, life happens; and we like to look past the unpleasant oftentimes.
I don't know what your past holds, but I can speak from my own.
I know I'm not the only one who believes that lie, and I know I'm not the only one who's gone through pain cast upon by loved ones.
If that's your past too, I want you to know that you are not alone in the slightest. I want you to know that you are worth so much more than second choice. I want you to know that people can and do love you, and I want you to know that God has plans to give you hope and a future, no matter what you've believed or been told.
Jeremiah 29:11
But that's not everyone's past.
Some of you face more shame than hurt when you look back.
If that's you, I want you to look up Isaiah 43:18-19 as well as Jeremiah 29:11.
God is doing a new thing in you.
There's a lesson to be learned from the past, but you are new now.
I pray you never forget that.
Whatever your past looks like for you, I want to encourage you to take it to the cross.
The healing begins when you start to let those teardrops fall into the scarred hands of Jesus, and soak in His grace and love for you.
Once the healing begins, your past becomes your testimony.
As the old hymn says, "I once was lost, but now am found."
You, my friend, are a new creation.
Revisiting doesn't mean you have to stay.
"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert, and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:18-19
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
Now that I've dug deep enough to find it, I can begin the process of healing.
And that's exactly what I want to write about today.
No matter how old you are, we all have something in our past that we'd rather forget.
Whether it be a moment, a day, a year, or what seems like another lifetime... Pain happens, guilt happens, shame happens, life happens; and we like to look past the unpleasant oftentimes.
I don't know what your past holds, but I can speak from my own.
I know I'm not the only one who believes that lie, and I know I'm not the only one who's gone through pain cast upon by loved ones.
If that's your past too, I want you to know that you are not alone in the slightest. I want you to know that you are worth so much more than second choice. I want you to know that people can and do love you, and I want you to know that God has plans to give you hope and a future, no matter what you've believed or been told.
Jeremiah 29:11
But that's not everyone's past.
Some of you face more shame than hurt when you look back.
If that's you, I want you to look up Isaiah 43:18-19 as well as Jeremiah 29:11.
God is doing a new thing in you.
There's a lesson to be learned from the past, but you are new now.
I pray you never forget that.
Whatever your past looks like for you, I want to encourage you to take it to the cross.
The healing begins when you start to let those teardrops fall into the scarred hands of Jesus, and soak in His grace and love for you.
Once the healing begins, your past becomes your testimony.
As the old hymn says, "I once was lost, but now am found."
You, my friend, are a new creation.
Revisiting doesn't mean you have to stay.
"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert, and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:18-19
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
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