Leading the Show

Last week, I was in the musical Oklahoma. We put the entire production on with just five days of rehearsal, and I was playing my first lead as Laurey Williams, so needless to say; that's why I didn't post a blog last Friday.

But explanation aside, let's talk about the show.

If there were a way to describe the whirlwind of emotions I’m feeling, I think I could write a novel.
Really, there's no way to describe it, I'm just in thankful disbelief. 
I legitimately never thought getting a lead could happen to me. At least not until my senior year. I didn't think I was ready for, or capable of handling, it. 
I really wanted this role, but I was preparing myself to be grateful for getting one of the quick solos Laurey's friends sing, or a good dancing part. 

Oddly enough, when I found out what part I was... It didn't feel like I thought it would. 
Don't get me wrong, I squealed, invited everyone I knew, went right to work on the lines and music, kept checking the cast list, and teared up every time I saw it...
But it just felt like another role to me. I just did what I was told, and worked on my part the best I could for, as my director always says, an Audience of One. 

I still don't feel like people are watching, and paying attention to, me; I still don't feel like one of the "big kids"; I still feel like I'm just another student doing just another role, no matter how significant it is to me. I thought I'd be aware of people watching, and be aware that people are viewing me like how I view all the leads I've seen. But now that I've actually done it, it honestly feels weird to me to think that any of that's true.

I don't know how well I'm explaining it, but it's not this humbling thought of, "wow the show's resting on my shoulders..." Like I thought it'd be, and it's not this feeling of, "they're all looking up to me..." Instead I'm watching the ensemble and thinking, "wow, they really make the show." Or I'm looking at my co-stars and thinking, "They really earned this." And my mind is going, "oh, they're not watching me, they're watching _______" "They don't look up to me, I'm just another student."

It's this mix of emotion where I'm humbled and stunned and amazed... But then, I just did what I was told. It was just another role.

Sometimes in life, you're going to be called to be in the background. Other times, you'll be called to lead the show. 
But whether you're at the head or meant to support someone who is, God is the One Who deserves the glory. You are not unnoticed if you're not leading the show, and you can still do God well even if you're in the background. Take it from someone who's been both the girl who was never seen, and now the lead, both in shows and in life:

People. Are. Watching.

And people need to see the light, joy, and love of Christ through you; no matter if it's one person or a hundred. 

If you're in the background, work hard and never give up. And when you get to lead the show, or if you're there now... 
Never forget Who this show is really about.

Because life is so much more beautiful and enjoyable when you realize it's not about you.