Fully Capable

I have this fear that I'm incapable. It fights me in everything I do. 

I'm currently playing the White Witch in a production of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; and even though I have everything memorized that I need to, I get so scared that I can't do it.

I've put off taking the ACT because I don't think I'm smart enough.

I go back and forth on the whole college decision because I worry I won't be able to do well. 

I get nervous every time I have to be heard singing by my teachers, because I have this fear that I'm doing it wrong.

The list could go on, but the bottom line is:

There's a voice in my head that screams at me, saying I'm not good enough. 

I know it's a lie, but it's still there.

It's something I have to take before God every day, and anything that I do at all is a result of His strength overtaking me. 

This got brought up in a conversation with a friend the other day, and they told me something that their dad has told them before when they've felt like this. 

They said, "Just work your hardest, and the outcome is up to God."

I suppose it didn't really hit me too much at the time, but thinking back at that conversation is helping me to realize... Maybe my fears are a result of my resistance to surrender. 

Maybe I'm subconsciously saying, "okay, God. You can take full control of this... As long as it turns out this way." 

What if I'm so afraid of a plot twist being thrown my way, that the enemy knows he can keep me from glorifying God's name if he just whispers to me, "you're not good enough. You'll fail if you try."

He wants to keep me from trying. If I tried, I would become a testimony. I would become a threat. I would show the world that Philippians 4:13 remains true.  

Maybe that voice creeps into my head to keep me from trying; and maybe it succeeds because I'm refusing to trust God with the outcome, even if it means I do fail, or a door does close in my face. 

I'm not sure how much sense this post is making (I'm kind of making two different points here), but if you take anything away at all, I want you to know that I am on a mission to prove that voice wrong.

Maybe I will fail, I don't know; but I know my God strengthens me, therefore I am capable. 

I am good enough. 

I am smart enough.

I am gifted enough. 

I am fully capable of doing what I am called to. 

Even if I fail, I will still become a testimony that I did it. I worked my hardest, and I fought past the lies, and the outcome just means God has something better in mind for me.

You are good enough.

You are smart enough. 

You are gifted enough. 

You can do ALL things through Christ Who gives you strength. (Yes, even math.)

You go do what you're capable of, and trust that God knows what He's doing with the outcome. 

Let's go be testimonies. 

Let's go be threats.