I love to worship; it's always been my favorite part about going to church...
But I must confess, there are some days when I'm not all that into it.
This past weekend was one of those times.
I was at my church four times last week.
All times, I was helping to lead others in worship, and half of those times I just wasn't feeling it.
I started praying about this when I got home from a gathering on Friday night.
During the gathering, I was up there just kind of going through the motions... When I looked out and saw a woman in tears.
Now, I rarely look out to the crowd when I'm worshiping.
It steals my focus, and it makes me nervous, so I just don't do it.
However, looking out and seeing that woman so caught up in worship that she was moved to tears...
Y'all, the conviction hit me like a train.
My heart completely shifted when I saw that.
I couldn't shake the image from my mind, so I just started praying, "God... I want to love You like that."
Praying that prayer over and over helped me to actually worship again the next morning, and the Sunday that followed; but I was thinking about it more and more, and I realized the words I had been praying.
"I want to love You like that."
"I wish I loved You like that."
"Help me to love You like that."
My lack of enthusiasm in worship grew from my lack of love for my King.
I was getting so distracted with all my responsibilities, choices, and concerns that I was starting to make idols out of everything from my phone to studying for a test.
My love for perfection has been exceeding my love for my Best Friend lately, and I want to go back.
I want to start reading His daily love letters, like I wrote about last week.
I want to start concerning myself with nothing but Him, and trusting He's handling the rest.
I want to soak in the peace He freely gives (John 14:27), and choose to love Him more and more every day.
I want my life to become a love letter to my King.
I want to worship Him again.
Praise God for grace-filled conviction.
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