18

When I was a little girl, I dreamed about being 16. Whether it was because I had older cousins and people whom I looked up to who were 16 at the time, or because I just knew I could get a job, driver's license, boyfriend, and a bunch of other things at 16 that I couldn't (or couldn't as easily) before then, the only specific age I remember looking forward to throughout my whole childhood was 16. 

When I hit 16, it was a dream come true. I loved every second of it, and didn't think I'd ever want it to end... And then as the year went on, I saw close friends of mine reach 18. They graduated highschool, some went off to college, they'd talk about things like voting and living on your own and things I couldn't relate to yet, and so many other things that I started to get impatient with waiting for in my own life. By the end of my 16th year, at the start of my Junior year of highschool, a new dream age was birthed in my heart. I now longed to be 18. 

Since the new dream was birthed, I couldn't even imagine wanting to be any age except 18, and even though it was only a little over a year away, there were times when it seemed like it was taking an eternity to get here. And yet, somehow, I barely took a second to breathe and now I'm 18. 

There are new dreams in my heart now. I very much look forward to my 20's, getting married to the "prince charming" I've been praying for and dreaming of since I was a toddler, having a family of my own, getting to watch my friends and family live out the dreams they've been working for for so long, and so many other things. I look forward to exploring this mysteriously beautiful season of young adulthood I now find myself entering into... And yet, a part of me now grieves the season I'm leaving behind. 

It took 18 years to finally learn, but I see now that this life goes by quicker than you think. Since I was a kid, I would plan and dream about my senior year of highschool. Now, it's going to be over in just a few short months. I've been dancing since I was 2-years-old, and in just 3 short months I will be taking my last class. Performing has been pretty much all I've known my whole life, and at this time next year, I won't have any more big productions to look forward to. I'll only be under my parents' roof for another year or two, I may never get the chance to sing in a choir again after I graduate, I'll never see most of the people I went to highschool with again once the fall rolls around, and I'm realizing that everything I've ever known is going to keep changing right before my eyes throughout my entire 18th and 19th years. I never thought it could happen; it always seemed so far off in the future. It was like a dream I never knew could become reality. 

Now today is the day of my 18th birthday. 

I want to soak in these final 3 months as much as I can. As much as I eagerly look forward to the next thing now, I'm reminded that life is very short. While I'm 18, I want to focus on loving God and others as well as I can as an 18-year-old. I don't want to make the same mistake I've made in years past by getting so caught up in thinking about how I'll be able to live well as a 20-year-old, or even as a 19-year-old; I want to take full advantage of where and who I am right now and do my best to not miss an opportunity I have at 18 because I'm so focused on living beyond that. 

I'm exactly where I'm meant to be for now. 

Sure people may look down on me because I'm young, or I may get told I can't do something (or that I should be doing something) because of my current age... But God has placed me where I am right now for a reason, and truthfully that's never going to change. 

Others will always make you feel like you're not "enough". Whether it be that you're not "old enough", "smart enough", "pretty enough", "skilled enough", "experienced enough", and so on and so forth, there will always be voices around you trying to get you to live in discontent. 

It may seem harmless at the time, but when you look back on your life in 20 years, you're only going to feel the sting of regret. If you can't learn to be content where you are now, you will never be content when your situation changes. All you'll do is long for the next thing, then the next, then the next, and end up wishing your whole life away. 

Wherever you're at today, I challenge you to live to the full. 

Seek out the beauty in this season you're in, and focus on it with all you've got. 

Learn to smile, laugh, and dance through every second of your current situation, and when times change (for the better or worse), bid the old a bittersweet goodbye and begin to seek out the newfound beauty. 

I promise you, once learned to live contently, you'll find you've learned how to really live.