Lately, I've been reading in the Chronicles and in the Kings as part of my Bible reading. I must confess that I don't normally read in those books, simply because I quite frankly have trouble finding books like that interesting, since pretty much all they're doing is going through the lives and legacies of the royal families and rulers of Israel and Judah. I only read these books when I'm reading all the way through the Bible (usually once every few years or so), and typically have to sort of force myself to push through them before getting to the "good stuff" that lies beyond. Well, as I've been forcing myself to read through them this time, the Holy Spirit laid something on my heart that I felt laid to share in this post.
As I was reading chapter after chapter about each person's story, reading details about their lives and characters, it suddenly hit me... all of these people were people just like me.
I know that sounds obvious, but the thought just hit me like a rock because I realized that, some day, people will be reading MY life and legacy in some way or another. We may not all have scribes to write down details about our lives and characters for a book to go down to thousands of generations of people all over the world, but all of us have a life story that will one day be read by others in its full. Some day, someone will read our journals, see the notes on our phones, stalk back on our social media posts, go through old photos, and tell others about us as they saw us. Does that thought make any of you uncomfortable? Because it sure makes me uncomfortable sometimes! But as I thought about this more, I asked myself why that thought made me feel that way, and I realized the reason why is because I was ashamed of the legacy I was leaving behind.
And I'm not talking just wishing that I could burn some old journals from middle school so that nobody would ever have to read all about 13-year-old Jaléna's crushes and interests (though I often ask myself why on earth I ever wrote down the things that I did at 13, or even thought them in general!), I'm talking about the legacy that I'm living right now.
I thought about how someone would describe me one day, and about how my story was looking like it would stay if I didn't turn back to the Lord... and it looks a little something like this: "Jaléna gave her life to Christ at 15, and did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, serving Him with all her heart. But then she was faced with difficulty, and she turned away from Him; ignoring His voice, ignoring the opportunities of greatness that were in front of her, and allowing the anxiety and trauma to rule her life for the remainder of her days."
Ouch. Not a story I ever want to be associated with my life.
Once I realized this painful reality, I began to realize that I needed to let God take over writing my story, and let Him change the direction I was heading.
I want my story to look more like this: "Jaléna gave her life to Christ at 15, and did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, serving Him with all of her heart for the rest of her days. She was faced with many trials and much pain, but she never let it overtake her. She dealt with great fear, but she never let it rule over her. She knew Who was King over her life, and she fought with the full armor of God until her last breath. She used every opportunity God gave her, and lived her life on a mission to share the love of Christ, and to show the world a Christian who was different from the others, making everyone feel like somebody, and walking in humility and wisdom".
I must confess, I feel a little awkward typing that last paragraph as if it is true, because I simply don't see any of that in myself. But that is the life I want to live, and that is the legacy I want to leave. I don't want others to praise me, but I want others to see Christ in and through me, and say about me that I only ever pointed up to Him in absolutely every area of my life.
Do I live like that now? I honestly don't know. I don't see it in myself, but that is the legacy I want to leave. Even if I don't see it ever this side of Heaven, thinking about the legacy I want to leave fills me with a great passion and desire to fight for it even when I feel too weak. In our weakness, He is strong. And that is what I want my legacy to look like. That is what I want others to say about me long after I am gone, that I was weak but all who knew me could tell that Christ was strong through me.
That is the legacy I pray we all would leave. And the legacy that we have the chance to live right here and now, no matter what direction our stories currently look like they're heading.
Let's go show the world something powerfully different. Let's go show them Jesus.
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