Letting Go

At my work, I sit by a wall of windows with a clear door for most of the day. Looking out those windows, across the street, are a bunch of trees. Week after week, I've been watching these trees slowly start to change colors with the fall. It's been such a slow process, that I often overlook just how much has truly changed, because it just isn't all that noticeable when it's little by little. However, this past week... I noticed. 

You see, my family and I have been in a tough season for the past two years now. Lately, I've been feeling as though God has been saying to my heart that it's finally time for a new season. The change was barely noticeable, only little by little and day by day, and just when we thought things were getting better... this past Monday, my grandpa passed away. It was a peaceful passing, after a tough and long battle with so many different things, and he was finally able to be reunited with his "blue-eyed bride" who passed away two years ago in December... but even though it was something that he was ready for, and something that we all had a lot of time to prepare for, and that put him out of his misery, the loss of a loved one is never easy. I found out the news as I was heading out the door to go to work, and spent the rest of the day in a weird sort of dream-like daze, not knowing if anything was really happening. 

I was talking with God all day, and asking Him to help me process things and help me see what He was trying to say... and then I noticed the trees that I'd been watching every week. Suddenly, they were all completely changed. The colors were vibrant, and everything was so noticeably, beautifully different. I felt as though God was saying to me, "Do you see that? It's new now. It's a new season. I'm paving the way for new life to come. Do you believe that everything is going to be okay? And that it's time to let go?". 

Life is honestly all about letting go. Time goes on, and we're letting go of something every moment. You'd think it'd be something super easy for us to do, since we're faced with it every day... and yet probably the hardest thing to do in this life is to let go. Whether it's letting go of a loved one, a shattered dream, a relationship, fear, control, or anything else, letting go is hard, painful, and undesirable. The thought of it all led me to write a short poem in my journal that I wanted to share with you all today. 

"The seasons never fail to change right when their time has come. And yet, I don't trust my God to change my seasons, too, even though I see each day the many things He's done. What sense is that? To not surrender to an ever-loving and faithful King? If I trust in Him to change my seasons, new life He will always bring. I think the key lies in a gift called by the name 'free will'. The seasons change, but they have no choice, I have to choose to let go even still. I have to choose to let my leaves fall down, not knowing what will happen. I have to choose to rise above the fear I'm feeling rather trapped in. It's all my choice to hold on alone, or let go, walking on with Him. I choose to choose the latter, and I'm ready now to watch life grow from within."

Letting go is so hard, and something that we each have to do again and again every single day. But we can rest in the truth that when God has us let go of something, or someone, He will never leave us there. He will walk with us every step of the way, and He will bring new life from our hardest seasons. 

God is with us in every season of letting go. Though it's so hard and painful, and often scary, and we don't know what will come... He knows. He's got us all under the covering of His loving arms, and He won't ever let us go. 

Even when we're letting go.

May we never let go of Him no matter what else falls away. 

I love you, grandpa. Thank you so much for living your life to honor Christ, serving with all of your heart, and loving your wife, kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, and every other person God put in your path faithfully and fully. We're all better people because of you, and so thankful to God for your life and legacy. I cannot wait to see you and grandma again, and get to worship Jesus with you both by my side once more. Until that day, I can only hope and pray that my life will be able to point up to Jesus as much as yours did. Thank you for everything. I'll see you in a little while.