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Friday, January 4, 2019

New Year's Realizations

I spent the first day of 2019 praying through a list of things I had compiled over the last few days of 2018. 
I had been searching for God's guidance on these topics pretty much every day of 2018 (some since 2017 or before) and decided I wanted to start this year off completely devoted to praying and listening, in hopes of finally hearing an answer to them.


The day came and went, but still... I had no more answers than I had before. 

So why would I write a blog post, meant to encourage others, about this?
The thing is that while I didn't exactly get what I was hoping for out of the day, I did come to a realization:

If my faith is based off of what I can get out of God, and when I come to Him I'm always expecting an immediate answer, I'm not treating Him like He is worthy of being treated. 
If I give to Him only because I'm expecting something in return, not only is that far from the amazing kind of relationship He desires with me, but I'm actually worshiping myself.


I realized that the peace I was finding by simply laying these burdens at His feet and being still for once, was enough. 
In fact, it was more than enough. 


I finished the day of prayer, worship, and listening feeling more alive than I've felt in a long time. 
I felt ready to face whatever this new year may throw at me.
I didn't find any answers that day; but I did find the truth that my God is with me always, and that's the only thing I need to know. 


A resolution I now have for this year is to stop worshiping myself, and always expecting God to give me something. 
What He's given me already is more than enough; I just want to dwell in that from now on. 


Happy new year, friends! 
I love you all and I'm praying for you.
Have a wonderful 2019. <3

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